It's been a very long time.

Hello! Well, school is wrapping up, and I'm full-steam-aheading towards my last semester as a UF undergrad...hopefully I'll slide right into my first semester as a UF grad school student! But who knows (I am going to end this sentence in a period even though I know it is technically a question). I just registered to take the GRE on Thursday (!), and I hope I do reasonably well on it...I know I'm probably not going to study, and Michelle (Art Ed Graduate Advisor) told me to just get it out of the way and not worry too much about it, so I figured I might as well take it and not put it off any longer. Besides, I'll feel much more relieved once it's over with.

Had an art show last Sunday called "new work" with my fellow Advanced Drawing majors.





The turnout was pretty impressive, actually...I got to show all I've been working on this semester in Drawing (with the exception of my sketches), some with which I was pleased, others with which I was satisfied, and one or two I would have liked to have improved but lost interest and ceased to care.

Well, as of right now, I am thinking about what to do for my Final Project in DIG 3110 (yet again, worried about that class!). Has to be somewhat lo-fi, and I have to say, I'm finding this class less and less worth it. Ugh. But whatever...I've come this far, and I have to just stick it out and come up with something, even if it is completely uninteresting. But at least I'll be projecting it on pantyhose.

Hmph. Anyhoo...I suppose I'll write more later?

WARNING: Severe Emo Entry

I am so stressed out right now. I feel like such an idiot...I'm complaining, complaining, complaining away about how my project is due Monday and I can't even get it started, when really I've had weeks to do it and I've just been putzing around...like a putz.

What am I going to do? I'm really in it deep this time. I mean, I can't think of a worthwhile thing to do, and I've already created one piece of crap the last project we had--and there's only three due in the whole class.

I feel like a real disappointment. I've always joked about what a slacker I am, but never meant it, and now I think I really am one. I just want...I don't know. I need a swift kick in the ass.

But goodness. It's really frustrating. I haven't created one worthwhile piece of art this entire semester, and it's already past halfway through. What am I going to do with my life? Did I really choose the wrong major? Thinking that makes me panic so much.

I really don't want to fail. More than anything, I'd hate that. I don't want to hate myself as a person, and I know that if I fail, I couldn't accept myself. I'm aware this is turning into a pity party, but this is serious business (although anytime someone says that, I can't help but laugh).

What am I going to do?

...I guess the only thing there is to do is sleep.

This is a test.

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities

Sketch for Drawing

Hello!

There is something in the air...

I can feel it. Inspiration is imminent! Sometime very soon, I will find out just what I want to do. What I want to say. What I want to draw.

Which is great, because I'm really starting to feel lame incompetent stumped.

Whatev, I know it'll happen. I think I need to make a list of the things that interest me, what I want to do. Aside from photoshopping and costume-making, of course.

Gross, scary, bloody, macabre, delicate, amusing, whimsical, perceptual, beautiful.

Well, that's a little ambitious, but I'll work on it.

Hm...drew a little today, mostly while Alicia came to document my life. Enjoyed a rousing art party with good friends and bad wine, and then a delightful movie-fest with delicious Key Lime Pie ice cream.

Ran many errands--new shoes!--and learned many things.

dude, this ho been zombified

I really should shed the habit of not doing anything productive.

But at least I had fun with some photoshop! Made myself into a zombie (see below) while listening to the soundtrack of Evil Dead: The Musical (I want to see that in the worst way!) and a few songs from the upcoming motion picture REPO! The Genetic Opera, which looks pretty friggin sweet.

Mom's doing much better; I spoke with her on the phone, and other than being very tired, she sounded great. I think she's going to try to get out tomorrow.

Today was perfect, weather-wise. It made me so sleepy...the temperature was great, a nice breeze blowing a very slight, dry, springtime-type chill in the air, with the sun just warm enough to keep it warm (and entice me to go sleep outside on a cement table, but I didn't). I even have my windows open!

Celeste and I got some errands run and shopping done...got all my groceries (and hit on by a creepy old man again while doing so) and rented Teeth. I looked for foam rubber at wall mart, but apparently they don't have any. :c I'll have to check somewhere else...wherever JoAnn's is, or Michaels. Yeah, Michaels ought to have some. I hope they do. And I also need to get large pieces of cardboard...so much to do!

And on top of that, there's still homework:

ARE2045: Journal reflection

DIG3110: Blog entry, pictures (print!), fix project 1

ART4096: Um, start new project. And log in studio hours (I think I might be falling behind!)

Aaaand about that Art project...I really need to think about what I want to do, fill in that middle square with. I want it to suit me terribly, but I need to figure out how to correlate that to the fairy tale...which I should read again. I'll work on it tomorrow.

And speaking of, tomorrow's our girly night!!! So excited.

Cabin in the Woods, Wooo!

Hay hay hay...boy, today was tense. I managed to get through six straight hours of class (the second half spent in an agonizing critique of a project I hated) on a pitiful two hours of sleep...oh, why do I think I don't need sleep? I always do, and I always regret it when I balk bedtime. I suppose I could delve into my warped psychosis of why my inner brain fears sleep and seclusion or what-have-you, but I sincerely doubt there'd be any accuracy to the examination.

Anyhoo...the critique today was pretty bad. It's because I didn't really believe in the project we were presenting...and I really, really hate working in groups. Nothing at all against my partners, it's just the virgo in me who needs to be in full control of her own project, ready to fight for it and personally make it her best, or be honest and change things or go a different route. I just was not at all proud of the product today. I felt stupid and unprepared, and I feel like this was my second-worst failure of college (the first one being in WARP, and I'd rather not talk about it).

Hm...well, in great news, Mom's surgery was a success, and she's doing well. I'm glad. I was never really worried, of course, but even the simplest things have a way of going wrong, and I'm releived that they didn't today.

Ah, I have much to get done in terms of running errands tomorrow:

- Deposit check at Wachovia
- Payless: New flats
- Groceries: soap, toothbrush, broom, champagne, ice cream, granola, etc...
- Blockbuster: Teeth
- Best Buy: Computer cords--camera USB and TV hookup
- Walmart/Michaels: Costume materials! Especially cardboard (refrigerator box?) and foam rubber.

Alright. I have class until 3, so I think I'll be able to make my runs after that. Hopefully...I'll need a ride, so I'll see if anyone's going that way.

Okay, nothing else too new. Good night!

YAWWWWWWWN

Ooh, the weather's getting colder! I'm so excited...I can't wait for October to go into full swing. This Friday's going to be so much fun; I'm getting together with Alicia, Celeste, and Jenilee and we are going to watch wonderful movies about airplanes and man-eating vaginas and eat looooots of ice cream (and pizza, because I need it for my costume).

I'm so tired. I really should get to bed. More later!

I see some ladies tonight that should be having my baby.

Oof! I just took a 4-and-a-half hour nap...it was nice. I'm a little hungry now...I think I might have a quick dinner.

So, school has been nice. I've been procrastinating and watching Winter Sonata, and yearning for snow because of it. Ah, well...at least the weather's getting cooler, which is totally great.

Hm. What else is new? Not much, not much at all.

Katharine is not mad, she just has a naturally angry-looking face.

'ello thar. I'm almost finished with my Drawing project #2, which is a diptych this time (I am too lazy and unsure of the product to make a third). Mom and UG left this morning...it was a really great weekend, but I must say I'm a bit relieved and ready to work. I had a little too much fun, and neither my schedule nor my stomach appreciates that.

In other news, DIG class was cancelled today due to some electrical problems in the FAC building (woohoo!). That means Allyse and I get to put off our project for even longer! But I really do have to gather some materials together for it...I'll have to facebook Nicole about stuff she can bring, if she can.

I still have to do that journal entry for ARE 2045...I think I'll do that now, lest I shove it too long by the wayside and get swamped. Even with the 12 credits I'm taking now, it's a bit of a hefty workload...I really wish I could just devote all my time to my Drawing class (but of course I can't). Next semester it's going to be even worse...but maybe not. I'll see if I can take a really easy 1000 level course to just fill up the credit requirements...I really wish I didn't have to take another 3000-level studio! ;_;

There's a party in my tummy!

And so ends the fabulous three-day fiesta that was my birthday weekend. It was really nice...low-key, and spent with people I love enjoying food I adore. I bought cute stuff that I probably won't fit into before the end of this coming week, and I got a new planner. Unfortunately, I also have a truckload of work to catch up on.

So I sort-of read Sensorium for homework yesterday...I really just skimmed through it and didn't retain much (though I never actually understand what it's talking about, so that doesn't make much difference anyway). I started sewing yesterday and continued today...hopefully I get it done by tonight (and before too late) so I can concentrate on transferring copies to muslin tomorrow. In fact, I'm going to send the files with my faces on them to my e-mail account right now so I can do some printing at the ARC lab tomorrow (because I'm running low on ink and am too lazy to try and fix it right now).

What else? I watched "All About Eve" tonight, increasing the number of movies I've seen that are on the AFI list of 100 movies over the century from 41 to 42. (It's my goal to watch all of them!) And because I've had Korean dramas and unsatisfied romantic needs on the brain, I'm going to re-watch Winter Sonata.

Alright. There really isn't much else that's interesting to blog about...I have a lot of candy and it's going to a lot of sad places...I really, really want to work hard and make good art.

Things left to do:

-Sew basic outlines in suede
-Write "journal" entry for Art Ed
-Feel guilty about half-assing the Sensorium reading

A'ight...toodle-oo!

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad

Hey! Had a great day today (so far); went breakfasting with Krissie, UG, Shannon, and Mamaa--who then took me out shopping for a mother-daughter-break-the-bank day at the mall. (I'm such a girl...)

It was really nice. I got some new unmentionables, pretty dresses and a super-cute scarf. I also bought some Christmas presents for a couple-a-folks, so that was useful. Hangers, Kleenex, granola bars, etc...oh! And some lovely Godiva products, including the chocolate covered pretzels I will be more than happy to share with friends soon (they are nothing short of celestial).

Hm...I feel like I bought shoes, but I didn't. I still haven't done any homework either, but I'm spending time with Mom, so I'm okay with that. But, tonight I would like to accomplish the following:

- Read the rest of the Sensorium chapter(this is a must because Allyse needs the book)
- Start sewing!

Okeedokee. I really should, in the words of Dr. Pustovoit, "geet to vorrrk!"

Hark, the Gargoyles of Autumn Do-Ci-Do!

Hullo...got some serious brainstorming done today! Yay for productivity. Didn't exactly start work just yet, but I did cut rectangles of burgundy suede to start working on (tomorrow?)...Today, I just sketched and messed around in my sketchbook, thinking about what would look best to me and revisiting what I had worked on briefly the evening before.

I decided to kind of go back to what I worked on in the first part of the project--the sewn heads on muslin squares. But not quite--the content isn't the same, so much as the looping, loose, contour-type sketchy drawing style utilized in the first part, as well as my self portrait sketches. So what I'm going to do is combine Lauren's idea with my own: I'll use the photocopy compositions with the mini-heads to "fill" the rectangle and project, but using gold thread on burgundy suede (which looks fabulous, by the way) to sketch out the compositions, occasionally adding a "real" photocopy cutout of a head painted iridescent gold. It looks pretty cool...at least, in my head. I just have to find a way to transfer the drawings onto the suede and sew in a way that captures the heart of the loose, sketchy style.

In other news, My mom and stepdad came down from New York this weekend to celebrate my late birthday...they're giving my sister and me food money for Egypt, which is great, and I got a lot of other fun stuff. Tomorrow, we're going shopping!

Alright...here're some sketches of my progress:

(This is the format of the whole piece, set on a long piece of moss-green sateen.)
+
(And ideally, the product would be the result of a marriage between the left composition and thread, but in a more free style like in the one on the right...I'd add the gold face in, too.)

Night~!

Wow.

Gosh, I'm a little bit sad. I just saw the younger brother (well, a picture of him) of this girl who was my best friend in elementary/some-of-middle school, and it was really a trip seeing him grown up. I don't know, I guess it's kind of a typical thing for people to say, "I can't believe how much he's grown," or "Golly gee, she's gotten so big," and the like, but this is the first time I was so taken aback by something. I guess I just always thought he was 6 years old...

It made me feel really sullen, because I used to be a part of his life. He used to be a part of my life, every day going over my friend's house...in all of my past, there are very few things I can say I've ever regretted. She's my biggest regret, hands down. We had a falling out in the sixth grade--I know, this sounds so juvenile--because essentially, she wanted to run with a crowd of friends that specifically didn't include me. Or maybe that's just how I felt about the situation at the time...but we'll humor my 12-year-old identity for now. And we just stopped being best friends.

But it wasn't because I didn't want to keep our connection going. I was too insecure to try and glue back the bonds of course, going through puberty and all, but every day I'd see her in school and feel uncomfortable. It was like--at least I imagine--a bad break-up. And I felt really, really bad about it...even worse because I saw she looked happy without me. It was like failing an audition to be her friend--no, that sounds kind of shallow. She wasn't the sort of person you see in the movies, the popular girl (in the generic sense) people fall down trying to befriend, but she was a really cool person and I deeply valued our relationship. I still hold the memories of her friendship very close to my heart, and it hurts to know how brief it was and how quickly and stupidly it ended.

Late in high school (senior year), I made a resolution to forgive her, no strings. And I did--this was all internally--and she and our other friend and I went out to lunch and talked and whatnot. I remember in my yearbook, she wrote something along the lines of, "I know it seems like I've changed a lot and went through some really weird times, but believe it or not, I'm still the same silly person I was back in the 5th grade..." and that made me feel pretty awful. Upset, even. With her, because she got on with her life, and was feeling happy and as if that whle thing never happened, and even more with myself for resenting her for feeling happy.

I don't know what she was going through, if she was going through anything during that time we fell apart. I know she didn't tell me, and I feel that I cared--and care--about her so much more than she ever did me, and that hurts...but if I've learned anything, it's that you can't control someone else's feelings. That's the sucky part about unrequited love (and I've experienced that, too!), only in this case it's the friendship kind, which can hurt even worse than the romantic kind. Because when someone doesn't want to be your friend, it's personal. There's not just one slot for the role of "friend," so when it's denied to you, it means you just didn't have what it took.

I honestly didn't mean for this to be so depressing. Or emo, whatev. But I really do regret how our friendship ended. And I'm jealous of the friends she chose over me. But I've forgiven her a long time ago, whether I needed to or not, and I doubt she'd care even if she knew, and if tomorrow she told me she wanted to be "best friends" again, I 'd be pretty happy.

This entry is pretty strange, and kind of off the beaten path. My mom and stepdad are down from New York, and I get to go out to dinner with them, Krissie, Shannon, and Jenilee tomorrow, which makes me happy. But I need to make reservations...which I did not. And it's very late and I have early class tomorrow...but I don't regret it, because I totally had a great time with Celeste and Alicia tonight. Good night/morning!

Everytime I sigh, I die a little...

Boy, am I beat. I don't know why, either...my birthday evening was very nice; Dad took my sister and me out to dinner (and we accidentally ended up wearing the same dress which was hilarious) and the food was amazing as usual. Aunt Sara sent a cake up with him from Boca, and that was a really sweet gesture.

This morning I had a pseudo-meltdown trying to figure out a project for art...you know what it is? I can't take the pressure. Lauren's there always, and I just get so nervous trying to say what I think she wants to hear and come up with something solid. It's a lot of stress to sound smart.

I think I need to let go of some of that. Try to start somewhere, relax, and just let an idea take its course. Follow it, I mean...I've been very high-strung and dramatic as of late, but it's mainly because of the hormones, and now the Birthday Blues (which apparently I get every year...the only thing I like about getting another year older are the presents and happy wishes!). But that's okay! Because I can make sense of that, understand why I'm feeling so stressed is because of a number of reasons, many of which I can control.

First, I need to make a list, because I am an insult to womankind when it comes to my poor means of multitasking. I need to:

- Come up with an idea for/create my project
- Concentrate on Drawing Sketchbook
- Read Sensorium chapter
- Get materials for DIG project
- Gather rubbings for ARE

...Alright. That's not so bad! The sewing (hah! See? I already know I'm going to sew--there's a start!) project might take a bit of my mental strength to conjure up an idea, but I know it's not impossible. To do that, I just need to create a few small compositions in my sketchbook, and choose one I like the best and work with it. It'll be fine.

Well, I think I'm going to hit the sack early and get a good night's rest. Here's a spread I worked on today in Drawing:



Toodle-oo!

Birthday Time!

Ah, after a few weeks of easing into this age by prematurely calling myself "22," I finally am...and it's a bit anticlimactic. That's not to say that I'm not happy--I'm just not crazed with excitement, which I think is good for my age, because riding the high of the birthday is not really worth coming down from it and feeling a sense of loss when it's over. I guess I've always been like that mentally--in some ways--worrying about being too giddy about certain things, and trying to downplay them when I can. I'm not talking about all the time, Lord knows I'm one of the most enthusiastically festive people in the world when it comes to certain holidays or events, but when it concerns me (if I do something really well, for instance), I try not to focus on it overmuch publicly...maybe it's because I'm afraid of people perceiving me as self-involved or arrogant? I'm not sure.

Anyway, I had a much better time presenting the chapter and lesson plan in class today than I thought I would--actually, the wording of that's a little wrong. I should say the results and feedback I received from my presentation were much better than I feared. My teacher (so nice!) was pretty enthusiastic about my idea--at least enough to suggest I take my presentation to the National Art Education Association(!). Which, though an extraordinary compliment, seems a bit ridiculous to me, because all I did was really summarize the chapter and contemplate it...my lesson plan needs work, but that's okay. I really expected that--it's my first one, and I figured, what better time than now to chance falling flat on my face? At least I can say I gave it the good college try and then work on getting better...and I did, and I will.

And my sucky illustration I made for the lesson plan wasn't really perceived as so awful as I expected, which was nice...Oh! And then--best gifts ever!--my teacher had the class sing me "Happy Birthday" in whatever style I chose--which was of course, intense Viking-style Opera. It was amazing...some of them were sooo embarrassed, and I delight in nothing more than to cause people embarrassment for my benefit.

Dad's in town--he's going to pick me up in a few minutes and we'll mosey around. I do have homework, though, so I hope we'll make the moseying brief...then we're going to dinner (Bonefish<3).

My darling little boys called me this morning to wake me up with Birthday messages before they go to school! Gary called, and Troy, Zack, and John wished me well...that was one of the greatest gifts I've received so far. :D

What else? I'm wearing a cute blue dress and red heels, and two girls said I looked like "Dorothy," which was my intent. So that made my day even better! And I have yet to give Jenilee her birthday gift, which I am totally proud of. I still need to wrap it and include a card, though...

More later, maybe!

Ughhhh

I really, really hate it when my time is wasted. I'm pretty much a child of the 21st century--and busy New York--where I multitask like crazy to save time. I have entirely too little of it, and when I do waste time, I want it to be because I choose to (and I do!), and not because someone's just going to ramble on endlessly, imposing themself on my time.

I can't handle that--I have stuff to do, man. And a LOT of it! I mean, I don't mean to complain...I understand that I have it really good, and I'm not nearly as busy as others, but it's still stuff that needs getting done. Just so I can personally put it down on paper (or blog), I have to:

- Get fingerprinting papers (call!)
- Finish Art Ed drawing and lesson plan
- Practice presentation
- Read for Drawing
- Sketch for Drawing
- Artist Presentation for DIG 3110
- Project for DIG 3110

...I feel like there's more...but I hope there isn't, at least not until Thursday (goodness!). As it is, I don't see how I'm possibly going to get the things I need to do by tomorrow done in time. At least I have some sketches for Drawing...



Ah, and now to answer blog questions for DIG 3110 that I don't understand.

This might be easier than livejournal!

Hello, this is my first entry, which would probably be made obvious since there are no entries prior to this one.

Um, I think that this might serve as a journal-slash-digital sketchbook of sorts, where I can post some of my most recent work and thoughts and ideas and the like.

If any traveling web-wanderer comes across this page and is wondering who I am, my name is Katie, and I am an art student from New York currently enrolled in her senior year at the University of Florida. I'm a drawing major, specifically, and I hope to continue my education after I graduate and get my Masters in Art Education. In terms of my artistic interests, I really like fairy tales and things that are inspired by them, especially if they tend towards the darker side of things. This probably sounds a bit cliche, but I'm pretty much a cliche person. Not at all interesting to anyone else but myself, which is fine, because I'm the only one who's permanently stuck with my own company.

As of right now I am listening to a lot of jazz music, perhaps to compensate for my impatience for the Holiday season when I can listen to Christmas music (the brass in jazz sometimes remind me of Christmas music...I think its the way it traditionally ODs on the French Horn). I am reading yet another trashy historical romance novel, which makes me happy, and I am looking forward to my 22nd birthday on Tuesday.

In other news, I just finished a half-gallon of Key Lime Pie Frozen Yogurt (over the course of a few days, though) so I could keep the carton for my Halloween costume. I'm so excited (I'm going to be a refrigerator)!!!

(Just a quick sketch of it I drew just as I was about to go to sleep one night in July.)